Spoiler Warning: Do not read if you have not seen the movie and want to be surprised.
I love reflecting on the messages in family and children’s movies. Some of my favorites are Trolls, Inside Out, Soul, Frozen (I & II), and now Encanto. I thought this week I’d share my thoughts on the messages within this new magical Disney story.
The family is blessed with a miracle – a magical candle that creates a magical house and imbues magical abilities on all members of the family, except one. The family uses their gifts to serve the people of the village.
Because of her lack of a gift, Mirabel feels the need to try harder to earn her place in the family and not be an outsider. When she discovers an issue with the house’s magic, her family doubts her out of fear. The movie follows her as she tries to solve the problem and we see her interact with each of her “special” family members.
Her sisters are “The Golden Child” pressured to be perfect and “The Strong Eldest Sister” pressured to carry the heaviest burdens and never show weakness. Both have songs that speak to the real struggles of family expectations to be a certain way or play a certain role.
The source of the magic was love, but it came from a traumatic loss. As the grandmother rules the family with strict expectations and creates pressure for everyone to be deserving of the magic in order to preserve it, the magic begins to crumble. As the magic fades, the fear increases and creates a vicious cycle. Eventually, the grandmother brings about the very thing she fears, losing the house and tearing apart her family. Of course, the lesson is learned and the family reunites in love and forgiveness to rebuild their home.
A lot of the feelings represented in the story resonate with how I felt before I learned to love and value myself. When you do not feel good enough, you fear showing up as anything other than perfect and risking rejection. When you do not feel that you have intrinsic value, you may put all of your value and ability to receive love on the service you provide to others. I know I struggled with both of these issues for years.
What Else Can I Do?
What could I do if I just knew it didn’t need to be perfect?
It just needed to be? And they’d let me be?
~
What can you do when you are deeply, madly, truly in the moment?
(Seize the moment, keep goin’)
What can you do when you know who you wanna be is imperfect?
But I’ll still be okay
Surface Pressure
Under the surface
I’m pretty sure I’m worthless if I can’t be of service
~
But wait
If I could shake the crushing weight of expectations
Would that free some room up for joy
Or relaxation, or simple pleasure?
Instead we measure this growing pressure
Keeps growing, keep going
‘Cause all we know is
Pressure like a drip, drip, drip that’ll never stop, whoa
Pressure that’ll tip, tip, tip ’til you just go pop, whoa-oh-oh
Learning to live in the moment, accepting your authentic self, and owning your inherent worth are lessons some of us were not taught in childhood. Fortunately, they can be learned if you know to start doing the work.
If you relate to either of these songs, feeling the pressure to be perfect or equating your worth to your work/service, I highly recommend checking out The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go Of Who You Think You’re Supposed To Be And Embrace Who You Are by Brene’ Brown.
Believe Grow Glow 