Being “the first”

I met someone recently and it came up in our first conversation that we are both the first in our families to go to college. In that conversation and our next we discussed what it is like to land in a professional career with no role models or expectations other than what we gathered in college.

The biggest lessons I took from my childhood were how I didn’t want to live (paycheck to paycheck, struggling financially without a stable place to call home) and what I didn’t want to be (dependent on anyone else or divorced). My parents did their best, but they had difficult childhoods of their own and had me and my sister as teenagers, dropping out of high school to get married and raise us.

I think my dad was determined to give me and my sister a better life than he had, but what that translated into was being ambitious in his career so that he could provide financially. My parents divorced before I was a year old. We had the every-other weekend arrangement until Dad started working out of town. My dad worked hard, starting in a trade and taking every opportunity to learn new skills and advance in his career. Dad became my role model for his work ethic and the admiration he earned from his friends. I remember from a young age that he was determined my sister and I would go to college. Dad worked all over the country while growing in his career so our relationship was frequently a long distance one. Despite that, I always felt closer to my dad than my mom and when I started writing in an online journal in high school he read every entry. That was when he discovered how depressed I was and fought with my mom to get me into counseling. I don’t remember why she didn’t want me to go, but I think she didn’t believe it was necessary. She spent most of my life, until recently, in denial about the toll our childhood had on me and my siblings.

I scored well on the ACT and had good enough grades to attend a local university on state and school scholarships. I had always enjoyed math so when the opportunity came up I took Accounting in high school. I was encouraged by my teacher and FBLA sponsor to attend college and become a CPA. I had no idea what a CPA was when she told me that, but I enjoyed her class so I looked into it. I learned that becoming a CPA meant that I could earn a good living in a respectable profession so I pursued it.

After graduation I attended LSU and got my Masters degree (and the remaining hours to sit for the CPA exam) in one year while interning at a CPA firm. After graduation I began working full time. I quickly finished the CPA exam and became the youngest CPA at the firm. I worked hard and progressed to Senior Staff.

While it was always important to me to work hard and be financially stable, I was not ambitious in my pursuit of climbing the ladder or making more money than I needed to be comfortable. Even as my income increased I always continued to live below my means. I accepted my first Industry position in 2015 with the hopes of gaining some experience and being Controller in five years. I was surprised to find myself unexpectedly promoted to the position a year later.

I did not feel ready and gave myself six months of not looking for a different job to give it my best shot. I had an encouraging boss who saw things in me that I did not see in myself. Being thrust into a leadership role forced me out of my comfort zone at work and to start learning how to be a leader. I pursued leadership and soft skills training through my CPA continuing education and started reading more for personal development.

In his book, The Compound Effect, Darren Hardy says “You only see, experience, and get what you look for. If you don’t know what to look for, you certainly won’t get it.” Before starting my personal growth journey, I did not know what to look for. So much of what matters in life is not taught in schools and, unfortunately, not modeled by parents who never learned it themselves.

Over the last few years an entirely new world, full of potential and possibilities, has been opened up to me through reading and finding the right role models, coaches, and mentors. Along that journey I found myself being the only person I knew reading for personal development. I shared the books I found helpful with anyone that would listen.

My greatest hope is that through the work I’m doing now I can help people on their own journey to discover their potential to live a life beyond what they currently believe to be possible.